Valuable treasures

What is value?...what brings value? Is value based on what we are able to achieve or contribute? Does our appearance give us value? Does the people we  know give us value? Do the places we go give us value?

I learned something about value a couple of  weeks ago. I was so incredibly inspired last week. These people that inspired me no longer cook for themselves, they can no longer drive, they can't walk with proper posture. They need help going up and down stairs. They are in pain most days and daily develop new limitations.

These people smile all the time, they laugh. They share stories, they share their joys and their hardships. Family and friends is their favorite entertainment and favorite past time. They find ways to bring value and meaning to their lives and others everyday. They LOVE! These inspirational people are my grandparents.

A couple of weeks ago I had time off from my boys. I  was able to take in many adult activities like shopping and eating out. However, my most rewarding moments were found...with people. I reconnected with friends and family in a different way. One morning I joined my brother, sister in law and grandparents for lunch. It felt like the first real conversation I had with my grandparents in 5 years. I had always seen my grandparents in large groups with constant distractions; taking care of the boys, and here we were... just the 5 of us.

I also had the privilege of spending time with my other grandpa too. He is 90. We visited just the 2 of us for two and half hours. We could of chatted for another 2 hours. My grandpa Daniel is one my favorite people. I have so many favorite people in my life but my grandpa has touched my life in a way that is so special to me. Visiting with him was such a high...at the same time a deep reminder of my loss. I was reminded that I married a man who reminded me of my favorite person...how fortunate that I could find this....how unfortunate he is gone.  I always told Gord that he reminded me of grandpa Daniel.


In high school I had to write many opinion essays for social. Knowing grandpa was so well read and actively involved as a citizen often writing letters to politicians, I took it upon myself to seek out his wisdom. Instead of wisdom; he showed me tools of how to research, organize information and form decisions based on well rounded knowledge.He taught me the value in evaluating all sides. He would present the information to me in an objective, balanced way and then he would ask what I thought. I like that he taught me how to think. It was empowering to develop my own opinion.

Our most recent visit consisted of jokes about his life. His latest joke is that he got another day to live today because they haven't decided who wants him yet. He told me about all the reasons he gets out of bed everyday...to help others get into their chairs at the dinner table and to write letters to the condo board to help everybody have the most comfortable stay. He is still able to read and is always caught up in all the news.  He caught me up in my own knowledge and appreciated any opinions I had to offer. I love that he still encourages me to think. His life still has so much value and importance. He could talk about all the things he can't do anymore...instead he is just so glad to be alive.

You should of seen how easily Gord and grandpa bonded. The two most well read people I knew in the same room led to some of the most fascinating conversations. They had such an appreciation for each other.

They did have so much in common. I love their gentle warm friendly natures. I love that they have so much interest in so many things...including an interest in people. I love that family is a priority to them and seeing their families " happy" is a priority to them. They both were adaptable, easy going and lovable. They both smile often, laugh often. They both believe in the good in others and seem to bring out the best in those around them. They both touched my life in a profound way. They both loved me unconditionally.


I left in tears. Tears of immense joy and tears of deep sadness. I'm beginning to experience life differently. Losing Gord has changed some of my most wonderful days, my most special moments into more complex...mixed emotions. I expressed this change in experiences with my councilor. I told her I missed my innocence. She challenged my view and suggested that  perhaps there was never such a thing as pure happiness...

I commented that before Gord died I could visit my grandpa and not leave with all these complex and varied emotions....just enjoy the high. Again she gently showed me that perhaps what I am experiencing is a more rich and a fuller spectrum of the human experience...that so often our experiences are layered with our past experiences and woven together with the present. This fabric of our lives often contain many colors of the heart. My deep rich emotional world is exploding a little younger than most...but it is what it is....so I guess the sooner I adapt... the better.

I really felt like I connected to my grandparents in a new way, a deeper way, a more profound way. I related to them. I now understand the depths of loss. I now have stronger understanding of what is it like to cope with huge limitations, to cope with being less...to cope and accept the reality of living with less...with loss. All of my grandparents have lost many close people and have lost many of their abilities. Although it is challenging for them to accept the loss of some of their abilities, some of their independence...they find ways to do what they can with what they can. My 85 year old grandpa just lost the ability to drive... At the same time he joined my dad and I to do a round of golfing. He exemplified a positive attitude and a sense of humor as we played the game. It was such a great way to bond and I couldn't be more proud to spend time with two special men in my life. My grandparents continue to find ways to live!!!

What inspired me the most about my grandparents....was despite their limitations, despite their losses...they still all live rich lives and they still bring so much value and meaning to their world in whatever way they can. Grandparents are some of our most valuable treasures.

Spending time with them reminds me to be grateful for all that I still have and to make the best effort I can to reap the most out of the life I have...no matter what the limitations are...no matter what my losses are.

I lost my husband when I was 37, however I still have 3 thriving grandparents. They inspire me, they love me....they bring joy. I am feeling grateful to able to spend time with such special people.

To me value is found in every little way we touch lives around us. The most simple acts of love give life significance, purpose and value. Finding ways to be grateful is where I discover how blessed I am...how much value all my life has.