Yesterday my mind and body was over come with deep grief. It engulfs me, takes over me. However; today I feel new, renewed. I feel light and free. I'm excited about the day and have a little tingle of joy running through my body.
Yesterday I purged my soul. My heart was so heavy. It was such a release to let go of the emotion, face it....look at it, try to understand it.
Today instead of deep grief, I feel a deep peace. My world looks beautiful again.
It seems like overcoming the intense emotions, releasing the deep feelings eventually leaves me with a feeling of accomplishment....like I climbed another mountain. I get to the other side....and the view is glorious. It is terrifying facing these emotions, I fear they will permanently take over. Ironically, the opposite happens. I find a new peace and new strength.
It is beyond my understanding how am I going to say good bye to Gord. This was not a part of my plan. I can be resistant, I can be bitter, I can hold on tight to something that is no longer here; or I can accept it, adapt and become a part of the change, become a part of new plan.
Daily I remind myself, Gord would want me to be happy, he would want the boys and I to live full lives. Today I have found a new peace, a new contentment. It feels so real. Today I feel privileged to live, to breathe, to love!
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