I was Trained for This

When my sister first heard the news about Gord's death, she told me her first reaction was...

 " Not Jen, she has already been through too much, she won't be able to bare this."

The first part is true, I've had a good share of trials already. I won't dive into those today because honestly, I could write a novel about my past.

I have had the thoughts...

"Why me?"
 or
" This has really happened to me, this is really my life!"

But I've had another epiphany.

For the majority of my adult life, my mom has desperately tried to instill in me gratitude, especially in times of trial. I'd smile and nod, but it often didn't register. It was easier to be negative when life was hard.

However, for the first time in my life....I get it!

It has been in my darkest times, my most challenging trials that has armed me with a new strength. Sometimes you have to walk through the darkness to find the light, the gift. The gift is a new truth, a deep truth, an unshakable truth. It is in facing these darkest moments that the spirit learns how to survive.

I found a new truth....

My trials and suffering has been the most instrumental in forming my soul, my spirit. I have been equipped with something you can't learn from another person, something you can only learn through experience. It's clear to me that my struggles were like my practice, my training for the real struggle.. a tragic loss.

I have resilience!

I have resilience because I know how to push through hard times, have hope when things appear to be hopeless and trust that God knows what he is doing. I can look back and see how many times I have already overcome adversity. I know the drill... Be resourceful, find support, get educated, have faith and keep trying until I get where I need to be.

Also, I have the knowledge that God has already worked through my life many times. I have experienced many miracles. I believe in miracles!

Lesson  #1
Be grateful, especially for my trials because they have prepared me for this tragedy.  Perhaps I should also be grateful for this tragedy because logically; it is preparing me for something.

Lesson #2:
My mother has wisdom and I should be more open.