This is my therapy!

My last post was a bit intense and for some shocking. Sorry.

It was very empowering for me to write my last post. To publicly release those feelings and claim my life has given my spirit a renewed energy.

This blogging experience is a bit of a ride in itself. I'm not always certain as to what my goal is or what I'm trying to accomplish or get out of this sharing experience. What I know for sure is that is always is therapeutic for me to write and it is exciting to share. It is rewarding to have responses saying that I inspire. That is absolutely what I'm out to accomplish. I can't control the pain, I can't change it, I can't bury it, but I if I use it then it has purpose. I want to use my pain to bless others.

I will admit, I'm not filtering what I write. I just flows out. It's real and it's raw. My intentions are not to alarm people or cause discomfort. But truth be told, this journey is not warm and fuzzy or very comfortable. I have contemplated how my words might reach others and I've worried that I might be imposing feelings on others. Then I decided I should leave that up to them. I've decided it's up to the reader whether or not they want to walk with me. I will also be honest and say that I'm using this blog to help me cope with my own feelings of isolation. Most people sympathize and most struggle to empathize. By leaving my heart out there I hope that just someone might empathize with my pain, Basically, I want to connect.

Facebook has been such a great coping tool for me. Believe or not; reminding myself daily that people care about me, think about me and pray for me helps me to keep going. I appreciate every like I've received on Facebook. It has been amazing to have so many from my past and present join me on this journey.

Also there are times where I have used Facebook and my blog as way to get people to reach out to me. There are so many times I think...I should just call someone...but I don't know who to call. I look my contacts and they just stare back at me. I convince myself that everybody's life is busy and I'd really rather someone call because they want to talk  to me not because they think I'm lonely and need company. This is not a guilt trip. I still appreciate all the phone calls I do get. I just want to be normal again. Just making the point that although it is very obvious that people appreciate all the inspiring things I post, sometimes I keep it real so that someone reaches out to me. It works!

So thank you, thank you to all those who have ever liked my status, sent me a text, a Facebook message, called me, thought of me,prayed for me. Thanks for inspirational quotes, songs and books. Thanks for all the ways you have all reached out. It all helps me to stay strong and keeps me  being the mom and person I need to be.