I had an amazing Mother's Day. From beginning to end....I was in a state of happiness, contentment and peace.
A friend and her two little boys joined me for a road trip to Jasper. Little jaunt for us! Her husband met up with us for brunch at the Sawridge. The spread of food just kept going...I thought...Gord would of loved this. It felt so good to hang out with another family. The boys were entertained...but busy. Just felt good to be dressed up and somewhere special. After brunch, we headed to the pool where the boys did endless trips up to the water slide. Noah needs a buddy with him to go down the slide, I think him and I made about 30 trips. The last time I went, I remember I felt frustrated that my husband wasn't there to do a shift with Noah, this time I thought...this is a good chance for exercise and time with my boy.
It was relatively early as we climbed out of the pool, Aralyn suggested to check out the new sky walk. It was an hour drive and I hopped at the idea of doing something spontaneous. Yay! More road trip! I thoroughly enjoyed my conversations with Aralyn that day, the boys remained entertained. The mountain tops were so thick with snow. I love the contrast between the stark white snow and the clear blue sky. Just brilliant!
The sky walk was an experience. Generally; I'm not afraid of heights...but it was different. Definitely got my heart pumping. The views were spectacular and it was interesting to witness these mountains from different angles. Walking on glass along side mountain tops is a bit of a rush. My boys had no fear...they just loved it. Lying on the glass...they would crawl...they were in pure amazement! There were walky talkies given out to hear more about the glaciers, ice fields, mountains and history...I passed...I had kids to chase...but my friends husband followed along. He told me that the glacier at the top of one of the mountains was 100 meters high. That is like 10 houses. Crazy right!
Then I drove home. We left that morning at 10 am and got home around 8 pm. Full day, I drove...there was tons of activity...and I loved it. I anticipated today to be a recovery day...I seem to need them.
Pleasantly surprised...I feel awesome, rejuvenated, energetic and motivated!
Unfortunately; Danny doesn't share the same feelings. He has been battling strong emotions all week. The lead up to Mother's day has been challenging for him. They are talking alot about Father's day at school too. Yesterday morning, Danny became overwhelmed with emotion...he wanted to express himself..but all he could do is cry. I tried to console him. I told him that even though dad isn't here, I still know he loves me, and that dad always made me feel like I was a special mom. I also told Danny that him and Noah make me feel special all the time too. I tried to tell him we were going to have a great day. He still...just felt sad. He had a good day...but there were times emotion just took over...once he starts crying it's hard to stop. He is hyper sensitive sometimes...what may seem insignificant to others...provokes strong emotion in him. I'm grateful that I have been feeling stronger lately...Danny's heart is broken right now...
Last night before bed Danny was telling me he really wants to go to heaven to visit dad. Me too I told him...but I also told him that we are lucky to still be alive and there is still so much to enjoy here first. I told him his dad would want him to have a good life here first. But he wasn't going to be convinced that easily. I asked him what he would like to do with dad in heaven. He replied, " Play video games, go for a bike ride and then I would just tell him... I love him."
Seems like a simple request. I've often thought...actually I wrote a song shortly after Gord died called..."Just One More Day." Like Danny, I would also love one more day with Gord. I wish we could make a road trip to heaven. But I know....that one day...would never be enough.
Our hearts continue to long for Gord but I'm also really beginning to embrace my new adventure...I'm beginning to adjust to single life. I'm finding out that I have so many people to share this life with. It's not the same...it's not Gord...but it can still be good. If I could go visit my husband and just have one more day with him..I would and I would bring my sons. But I can't. We have to live out our life here first. There is a beautiful world out there...full of people, full of adventure...full of beauty and wonder to enjoy.
No comments:
Post a Comment