Felling grounded today...I am really starting to gain confidence in my new world. It often doesn't make sense but I'm learning to be ok with that. I just keep surviving so many firsts and I'm learning how to roll with it. I'm realizing that nothing breaks me and every situation arms me withe new understanding.
Today I feel excited. Excited about the adventure ahead.
There is a pattern. There is predictability...but I just have to be open to the plan. Every day I wake up is another day I get to live. There will be highs, there will be lows, there will struggles, there will be joys...there will be laughter....and often many tears.
Suffering and grace weave together to make a great masterpiece. They keep each other real, grounded and beautiful. Suffering challenges us and grace encourages us. We need both. As long as both suffering and grace exist....life will have meaning...purpose.
The man from flooring came again yesterday. He explained to me more alternatives. Typically insurance companies don't cover bedrooms; but because of the layout of my house, it may look odd if they don't do the rooms. They will also have to lay the flooring diagonal, it is straight right now. I expressed to the man, that I think I would have a hard time with dramatic change right now. He agreed. But then I also told him that I knew I could cope with it, I know I would get over it. He smiled.
I have a new confidence I have never felt before. I expressed this to my councilor, I told her I keep surprising myself. She explained to me that I have conquered so many firsts and so many fears that I have built a true confidence, true inner strength.
This is rewarding.
I had another sad day yesterday. But it didn't break me,it never does and it never will....and that is an amazing realization.
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